My new bedroom situation!

I have a couple of passions in life and decorating is one of them. I know its a typical girl thing but I love being creative and I love color. My bedroom has been seriously neglected for a while now. I kind of just got lost in the routine of things. But with my old life's routine so severely disrupted, I noticed how LAME my bedroom looked. The very first thing I did was rearrange the the furniture. I put my bed at an angle in the corner, but was kind of freaked out by the open space behind my head board. I came up with a fabulous solution; a tension wire/ hanging hook set up from Ikea and some beautiful, aqua blue, sheer, curtains I found on clearance. I had my favorite handy-man, Jimmy, come over and help set it up. I also acquired a fuzzy, shimmery, brown body pillow. It looks great with the blues. To top it all off, I made a really cute 16x20 stretched canvas that says "Sweet Dreams" and I used little pictures of all the things that give me sweet dreams around as a border.

A Family of Black Sheep

Of all Christmas traditions, both past and present, this is by far my favorite. Every year the "Black Sheep" of the family get together for fondue and FUN!!! Instead of letting a judgmental few, control how we all got together, we decided make our own family xmas party where everyone is welcome as long as they are willing to accept people for who they are. I love that as a family we can get together, have a blast, and support each other, as all families should do. I love my family of Black Sheep!

Women's Ministry Fundraser Dinner- a little asian flare

I had such a good time hosting this table at the Women's Ministry Fundraser. What can I say, but that I am a sucker for parties and decorating. It was wonderful spending the evening with amazing women who all touch my life in so many ways.
*** a special note: I have a whole box of fortune cookies with your name on it ;-) so hit me up for some!

My Broken Heart!

If anyone want to see what my broken heart looks like, here ya go! ha ha!!!

The Festival of Trees

I am so excited about Emmabug's Miracle Tree.

Emma was diagnosed with "Metopic Craniosynostosis" on January 17th 2006. They felt at the time her case was mild enough that she would not need surgery to correct it.

They went for a follow up appointment on June 8th 2006 and her skull deformation had progressed at an alarming rate. They told them they would need to operate in order to correct her head shape and prevent any brain and eye damage! She was scheduled for surgery on July 19th 2006..

The Surgery lasted 8 1/2 hours. She was in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks. She surpassed all expectations and started walking and talking after just a week.

Today she is one of the sassiest little 3 year olds I have ever known. I just love Emma and I am so thankful for her miracle.

If you want to see our tree, we are in spot G-103.

Craniosynostosis is a Cranial disorder in which the sutures of the skull plates close prematurely - before the brain is through growing.This disorder has the result of an abnormal skull and deformation of the shape of the head.

The long wait is finally over...or has it just begun??

Carla, Kellie, Nikki, Me, and April

Nice Seats!!

April "work'n" the phone

I WON, I WON!!!!!!!!!! I was hoping for a life sized
car but this will do. In addition to my cool car,
I won an amazing bottle of perfume.

Tori and Annette
Owe, Owe! Nikki
Trouble! Nikki and Carla
My feet were killing me in this picture.

I had so much fun at the Twilight Event! There were a total of 15 of us. It was just great to get to walk around to all of the activities and vender's. I purchased a super cute necklace that says "Be Safe." It is a line from the movie but it has much more personal meaning for me. I'm by no means going to give up being daring or adventurous. It more to remind me to take care and be good to myself. Is so easy to feel hurt or worthless in a situation like mine, but that just isn't true. There isn't a sole on this earth that can change my worth but me. And I am going to continue to show myself respect and love.
As for the movie, it was great! It took me a bit to get used to the differences, they had to cut out some stuff, But Edward really grew on me.

New Kids on The Block

I had so much fun at this concert. I know there are some who may judge me for that but who cares!! The second these 5 men appeared on stage, I morphed back into that 10 year old who went to see the New Kids on the Block for her very first concert. I couldn't help but scream like "a little school girl!" The best part was our seats. they were floor seats and we were just a couple feet away from the secret stage they came out on half way through the concert. I got to touch each of them as they walked past!

Hippy Heaven!

Sunday night I attended a fund raiser dinner for an animal sanctuary called the Ching Farm. They do this Vegan Thanksgiving dinner every year. This was my very first, entirely vegan dinner.
It was "hippy heaven!" I had some seriously funny conversations and the whole time I was there I wanted to shout "I am not a hippy, I'm not!" I must admit though...I loved being surrounded by liberals for once. There was a hysterical moment where my ride parked clear out at the back of the parking lot for fear of retaliation from the crazies inside because apparently leather seats could have been just the thing to send the activist right over the edge.

The turkey wasn't actually turkey. It was a made of a what they called Seitan. They pronounced it much more like the word Satan, so as you can imagine, I was a little hesitant to want to eat it.
But truthfully, It was much more tasty than I ever thought possible. I enjoyed the company and had a blast talking with such level headed, sensible, liberals, who shared my views on what makes this country great...(see prop 8 blog)

The most difficult things

I know my self better than anyone else. I know my flaws, I know my strengths. And luckily, I have two amazing tattoos that help to remind me of what I need to remember the most. My first tat is a conji for "Fearless Heart," the second is my cherry blossoms. Here is a part of the blog I wrote about getting my cherry blossom tattoo almost two years ago:

"The cherry blossom, in Japanese culture, symbolizes the transience of life. Life is constantly changing and moving. Just as the cherry blossoms bloom and then die, so does everything else in life. I am constantly trying to hold on to things and people, especially when those things and people make me happy. But as I look back, I realize that people are constantly coming and going in my life and its impossible to keep things still. It has been hard for me to accept that, friends who once played a huge role in my life, sometimes walk away. Most of the time though, people are just pulled in different direction by the currents of their own lives and no matter how hard I have tried, its impossible to keep people for drifting away. Things change, relationships change, and life is always changing. People come in to our lives and leave us the gifts of love, companionship, laughter, mischief, tears, and heart-ache. All of which lets us know we are alive. For me, the lesson of the cherry blossom is to enjoy the "bloom" of things because the flower never lasts forever."
I put two of the most difficult things for me , permanently on my body. I needed to be reminded, especially when my heart is shattered, how many wonderful gifts have come into my life because I took a chance with my heart.

Heartbroken over Prop 8

I am so disappointed with the outcome of Prop 8, but I have hope that people will open their eyes about what makes this country great. So many people get stuck on the fact that this country was founded on the belief in God, but thats not it. What makes this country great is that it was founded on the FREEDOM to believe in God. Its the about the FREEDOM to choose for yourself what to believe in and how to live.
The government is in perfect harmony with its foundation when it provides each of us with equal rights and the protection to pursue our own happiness. We need to let go of our prejudices and cookie cutter antics. We need to let go of our fear and embrace and protect the diversity that this country was founded on.

Final Statement from No on Prop 8 Campaign

From No on Prop 8 | Don't Eliminate Marriage for Anyone

Yesterday at 4:10pm

The road to freedom is a difficult, hard road. It always makes for temporary setbacks.
--Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tuesday's vote was deeply disappointing to all who believe in equal treatment under the law.

All Americans are harmed when any of us are discriminated against or have our fundamental rights taken away.

Make no mistake, this fight is not over.

We remain committed to ensuring full equality under the law, just as the thousands of same-sex couples who joyously married in California are committed to each other.

While it is understandable to be angry that a deceptive campaign could lead to such an unfair and wrong outcome, we need to keep focused instead on the progress we have made.

Thousands of volunteers and contributors gave selflessly to this fight for equality. Political leaders—Democrats and Republicans alike–took strong stands and spoke out against the distortions against us. Clergy, labor, educators and business leaders eagerly joined our cause. And we came within 4% of making history and protecting marriage equality in California.

The momentum is clearly on our side.

So, as disappointed as we are, we know that there is still hope and there is still love and, yes, there is still work to do. With our continued effort and by building on the support generated in this campaign, we will prevail. There will be equality. For us all.

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired.
--Robert F. Kennedy

My Dad, My hero

I am still so amazed at how many people have really come through for me this past couple weeks and I would especially like to thank My dad and stepmom. They came through for me in the biggest way. They actually got on a plane and came up to Salt Lake City to stay with me. It was so wonderful to have two people, I love, filling my home up with warmth and laughter. They gave me a reason to get up in the morning and something to look forward to after work. I had some great talks with Both of them. Sheri was so sweet about my apartment and my dad, as always, knew how to make me laugh. We had some pretty fun adventures together. There was the two pitchers of sangria at dinner...good times. And can anyone tell me what to make of this Ziplock bag of water with a penny inside, hanging from the side door at the Red Iguana. Is is for good luck? Is it an ancient bug repellent? We were both perplexed.

R.I.P the "Fleeples"

I'm going to be absolutely honest when I say that Tuesday night was by far the worst night of my life. I have never felt so much anguish. Yesterday morning I was so angry that as I drove to work crying, I was determined to figure out a way to put a big red X right through the top of my blog where it used to say "love is a verb." and change it to "love is a lie" but even through my pain and anger...I just know that isn't true. Or at least, its rarely true. I have had some tough days. I have cried more than I wish I had or new I could. I have used the word hate. But deep down that's just not me. I am in shock because I somehow believed that happiness guaranteed a future with Ian and I. I believed that "Love is all you need." I believed with my whole heart in the life that we had made together. I never doubted it. I loved. I had fun. I laughed a ton! I was "schmoopy". We had disagreements but always worked them out. I was generous with my heart and my affection. I was imperfect. I was blind.

The first day, I honestly didn't know how I was going to get throught the next moment or the next day. But I am. And through all of this I am amazed at how many blessings have come my way. I have some amazing friends and family who have been extremely supportive and loving and somehow all knew the right things to say. Thursday I got a package in the mail from Heritage Makers that actually made me smile, it was some 8x8 pages I had made. I SMILED! I also had one of our old drivers Cecil stop by work to give us some lotto tickets and as he went to leave, He gave me a side hug and said "Sarah, have you been losing weight, because you look amazing!" I actually laughed and in my head I thought "you have got to be F-ing kidding me." After two nights of no sleep or eating and two days of crying, no makeup, and my hair in a ponytail....someone thought I looked amazing. It was such a blessing.

I want to thank Nikki for being there and helping in more ways than I can count, Kellie for getting right to business and start helping me look for a roomate or a new place to live. I want to thank Sherie for coming over Wednesday night to be with me and drive me where I needed to go and my mom, who knew just how to make me feel loved and comforted and had some great words of wisdom. Thank you April and Jana for making time for me and being some great ears. My co-workers for filling in for my distracted brain. To JABE, for the beautiful flowers and lots of "I love you's."

Tonight, while I still have so many un answered questions, I know that this is for the best and I am excited for all of the new possibilites in my life. New places, new people, maybe even a puppy. I have no regrets becasue in the words of Dane Cook "I DID MY BEST!!!" I was a good girlfriend. A good extra mommy. I was generous with my love. I had a FEARLESS HEART! And while the road ahead of me isnt going to be easy, I wont just survive, I will land on top.
The title of this post is "Rest in Peace-The Fleeples" I am going to try to do just that. I am going to let go of my anger and try to appreciate the amazing lessons I have learned.

The Greatest Compliment

"Imitation is the sincerest of flattery."
-- Charles Caleb Colton

When Nissa first mentioned that her two little girls were playing, by pretending to be me, I didn't really believe it. (Sorry Nissa, I wont doubt again.) That was until I witnessed it for myself. It was a night like any other, Ian and Jimmy were having "band practice" on the Wii, while Nissa and I were busy plotting Heritage Makers world domination. Every few minutes I would hear my name coming from the room where little Brooklyn and Emma were playing. I finally got up to investigate and from the hallway, I watched them play. Just as Nissa had said, there they were, two little "mini twinnies," pretending to be me, with a purse under one arm and their sassy shoes on. It was so flattering.

The story doesn't end there. About a week ago I stopped over to show my Twinnie, Nissa, the new cloths I had just purchased, (On sale for 30% off and 50% off clearance, boy do I love a good sale!)

It was just us girls at home since the men were off at a Jazz game, so I decided to try on my new cloths to show my BFF. Little Emma periodically appeared in the doorway watching but didn't say much, that is until she bounced into the door way wearing brightly striped red and pink pants, a purple shirt, and a gold star belt, and her mommy's heels. She picked out the magical outfit all by herself. It was the most precious thing ever!!!!


Nissa and I told her how beautiful she looked, she skipped off with glee to show her big sister. A few moments later she came back in to the room deflated. She said "Brook told me my outfit Isn't beautiful!" I said to Emma "In life, there will always be people who tell you that who you are or what you love isn't beautiful, but they are wrong! You do and wear what you love."
Ok, so maybe my comment was a a bit deep for the pre-schooler but thats me...sometimes Im a little deep....sometimes I am mushy.....sometimes I say "I love you" A LOT!!!! Because thats who I am and what I think is beautiful.

Emma's Fashion Show continued for about an hour. With the help of her big sister Brooklyn, Emma introduced a swimming suit line, her fall line, and they wrapped things up with lots and lots of belts. All in all, Its was seriously The Greatest Compliment EVER!!!