Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I'll Never Be a George Gray

George Gray


I have studied many times

The marble which was chiseled for me --

A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor.

In truth it pictures not my destination

But my life.

For love was offered me and I shrank from its disillusionment;

Sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid;

Ambition called to me, but I dreaded the chances.

Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life.

And now I know that we must lift the sail

And catch the winds of destiny

Wherever they drive the boat.

To put meaning in one's life may end in madness,

But life without meaning is the torture

Of restlessness and vague desire --

It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid.



Edgar Lee Masters

Friday, April 8, 2011

An Ongoing List of Things I Have Learned While Living in a Zoo

Let me preface this list by explaining my current living situation.  I have lived on my own, give or take a few roommates, since the moment I graduated from High school and went off to Utah State.  The first 5 years I moved a BUNCH.  Have I mentioned I hate moving???  It might be because I moved every year and sometime twice a year. But as I settled into life I found this amazing two bedroom apartment, wonderfully situated in Holladay.  It was great; inexpensive, walk in closets, great location.  It was so great in fact, that I couldn't stand the thought of moving EVER AGAIN! But six months ago I finally got over my fear. A dear friend of mine, Jason, had a big house with an empty basement apartment.  He offered me a deal I couldn't refuse and I have never regretted moving or ever looked back. 

The best part of moving into a big house is the big family that I automatically joined as soon as I moved in.  There was never a dull moment or a quiet one.  But it was awesome. I painted my walls with bright and cheerful colors and when I wanted a  little down time I closed the downstairs door and tuned out what sounded like a heard of elephants.  We had some great parties.  It was the perfect house for our awesome "pre-funks."

But as with most good things, they do eventually come to an end.  UDOT decided to build the Mountain West Corridor right where our house stands and subsequently forced the sale of all the houses on our street.   They have already started demolition on several of the houses.   
I had to move again!!! But as I said earlier, I have no regrets.  I loved living with Jason and my little make shift family.

What to do next?  I loved not paying an arm and leg on rent.  I loved living with my make shift family.  I loved that any time I wanted a little company they were just a stairway away. 
I went apartment shopping and even put a deposit down on a place, but It just didn't feel right.  My fabulous cousin April had offered several times for me to rent her guest room and the more I thought about it, the more peace I felt. 

So I cancelled the apartment and moved into my new bedroom. It turned out super fabulous.  I love the hardwood floors and the great shower right across from my room.  And while I miss having more space and a walk in closet, I truly love the chaos and goings on of a full house of people I love.
It may be because I am really good at tuning out a ton of the noise when I want to and I'm pretty sure I could sleep through the Apocalypse. 

So I have decided to start compiling a list of things I have learned while living in a zoo:

1.  Everything is washable, even the giant stuffed frog little Thyce threw up on. 
2.  The more the merrier.  I mean it. Peace and quite is highly over rated.
3.  April is an incredibly generous, giving, and industrious woman. 
4.  Always lock my door when I want quiet time ;-)
5.  Sister wife jokes are inevitable. 

I will continue to compile this list as time goes on. 

The most I can say about my life is that I am happy.  Happy in all the wonderful people I get to share it with and in the fun that is never far way.   I am even happy in all that my life is not....or should I say, not yet. 
Its always a great experience to find that some of things that were once so important, i.e. walk in closets and zip codes, don't matter nearly as much as I thought.  For once, its nice to be wrong.