Portland: The Land of My Best Friend I HAD Never Met

Portland was an epic adventure, scary as hell, full of fun, way too much drinking and eating, and a little like coming home all wrapped up into one little vacation.

I had never been to Portland or the Northwest for that matter before this trip so my imagination ran wild with preconceived notions of  lumberjacks and hippies on every corner.  I am still a little disappointed by the lack of plaid flannel attire and the use of an axe as an accessory.  But the wealth of unique people, restaurants,and bars more than made up for my very few disappointments.   

Gab and I chose Portland for our vacation because my Best Friend I Have Never Met, Ben, lives there.  Heading to a place with a built-in tour guide is a great way to see a new city.  Over the years Ben and I have had several running jokes, one of them being that when I finally came to Portland to see him, he would be out of town.  Ben kept his promise and was out of town, but luckily just for the first day.   Gab and I knew we could fend for ourselves in P-town for one day.  I mean really, how much trouble could we get in?!

Ben was awesome enough to let us stay at his house (even before we had ever met) and his Girlfriend Kim was sweet enough to let us drive her Tahoe.

Gab and I made ourselves at home and then made our very important first stops: Baja Fresh and the Liquor store.  I think Gab actually peed her pants she was so exctied to go to Baja Fresh.  We totally have our priorities straight as you can see. Next stop the Pearl. 
The Pearl district was lively and funky.  We started with Henry's Tavern.  I loved Henry's, I had two fabulous beers; a Vertigo Brewing Apricot Cream Ale and Sea Dog Blue Paw Wild Blueberry Wheat Ale.  Gab got two beers...the latter being really "hoppy" and totally disgusting.  But she loved it and that's what counts.  The bartender bought us each a drink and then slipped Gab his number.  I knew then, it was going to be a good night. 

We "drunk" shopped at Powell Book Store.  I'm not going to say that while on the phone with Ben I shouted that there are no attractive people in Portland, but I'm not going to say that I didn't. 

It was about this point that I gave up my agenda because it was too complicated to follow my iphones walking gps directions, and we just went wherever the night wanted to take us. 

Our stop at Paragon was unforgettable, two older ladies let us use part of their table.  It wasn't long before we realized they were lunatic, cougars, wielding water guns, inconspicuously squirting random people at the bar.  It was the weirdest thing ever.  We ended our first night at the gallery walk, watching street performers and checking out the local craft scene. 







Portland is majestically beautiful. Being from a mountainous region,

I thought I knew mountains, but I had no idea what a forest really was until I set foot in Forest park Friday morning.  I still cant get over how picturesque, lush, and enchanted the forest was. 

As for my hike, I want to call my adventure in Forest Park "delightful" but since I got lost on the way there, lost on the way out, had to pee, and Big Foot tripped my ass, causing a severe sprained ankle on day two of my vacation, I'm going to call Forest Park potentially delightful.  I will never forget my Big Foot sighting or the random runner, literally frothing at the arm pits.  Gab and I died laughing once he was a reasonable distance away. 

My Best Friend I've Never Met...

I started talking to Ben on the phone, I'm thinking back in 2006 for work.  He was so annoying ;-)  But over time and a bazillion endless chatting session later, we became friends.  If I had to define our friendship it would definitely be a Love-Hate kind of thing.  He loved me, I hated him.  I rocked it as a transportation professional and I, to this day, am constantly having to do his job for him and I get to call him "Rinky-Dink" often. 

Joking aside, Ben is such a good man. I had that much figured out a couple years back when he was my shoulder to cry on..over the phone.  He let me vent about my deep heartbreak in a way that only a big heart would. And then I watched him go through hard times of his own and make it through being even more of a romantic than ever.
With all that I knew about him, I still wasn't prepared for how much I adore Ben in person.  I am in awe of the warmth, in which, he greeted my friends and I.  He really just took care of us the whole time.  And as fun as he is on the phone, he is 1000 more fun in person.   I really enjoyed our long talk out on the deck and I'll never forget him saving me from the "guy with khaki pants and a tucked in shirt."

One morning, he turned on a song called Big Heart by Tyler Stenson.  I loved it,  so Ben just gave me the CD.  The lyrics "Big hearts, make mine grow,"  is exactly what I felt meeting Ben.   He is a dear friend and I cant wait for our next visit!  I also loved getting to know Ben's girlfriend Kim.  She was so incredibly welcoming and fun.  I mean only a very cool woman would be down to let three random girls come stay with them.  I may never think of a bridge again, without wondering if this one "randomly collapses" because of Kims hysterical sense of humor.    I totally understand why Ben is happier than I have ever seen him. 

On our second night in Portland.  They took us to the Radio Room for happy hour. I wish SLC had a Happy Hour scene. It was such a fun and inexpensive way to try new place. 

We then went to Apex, which had tons of Beer and picnic tables. A winning combination for sure.
 Ben spilled a huge stein of beer all down the front of me from across the picnic table using telekinesis, at least that's the version of the story I'm telling.
Kells Irish Pub was awesome, although this is where things start to get a little fuzzy. And when my dear friend Amy showed up in her cab straight from the Airport.   I love the pictures of Ben and I doing an Irish Jig.  Given my bad ankle, I was awesome at dancing.  So awesome in fact, Ben started copying my moves.

Gabalicious Loved Ben's old man pipe.  I thought it was ludicrous. 

We topped off our shenanigans with a trip to Voo Doo Doughnuts.  The line was crazy and we were a bunch of crazies in line.  

We had a little donut buffet the next morning sampling a bite of each donut. 

Since the donuts just didnt do the trick, We went to the Farmers Market.  I can now say I have had Stump Coffee.  It was well worth the line to get it. Us ladies collected quite the "booty" of treats.  Mini cookies, brownies, and to-die-for cheesecake. Its a good thing we all shared our little treats and live far far way, because I am pretty sure my booty would have grown twice its size if I had spent anymore time there. 

I love this look on Ben.  Thank goodness he found these glasses at the very end. 

I really appreciate the random guy who took this picture, he took great care to get the fountain in the picture,I'm actually surprised we even made it in picture, he was that worried about the fountain.   









After the Market, I was in need of a nap.  The only problem being that I couldn't sleep the whole time I was in Portland.  The bed was comfortable enough, but no matter how tired I was or how much I wished I could sleep in, I woke up every morning around 6am. Unfortunately my nap was no different.  Gab, Amy, and I all snuggled up with blankets on the coach.  But sleep was a stranger to me so I joined Ben out on his deck. 
It was crazy beautiful out on the deck, lush trees, a small little breeze, and the warm sun.  Kim joined us a short time later.  It was great getting to know each of them a little more and I came away feeling hopeful about love.  Its hard out there, dating, loving, taking chances, the risks are sometimes overwhelming to me. But It was great to see two people who have overcome their past situations and somehow found a way to love each other so whole-hearted.  I needed it more than they will ever know. 
Saturday evening we started at a place called Departure, at the Nines hotel.  It has panoramic views of the city.

 There was such a bizarre group of people on this roof top bar, it was basically a gold mine for people- watching.  I was joking around about hitting on the most bizarre dudes, when a guy who I swear was Lou Diamond Phillips, but taller, walked out.  I was so amused with his crushed velvet jacket and strategically placed fez.  I couldn't help it, without even thinking about the consequences, we locked eyes, and I did the "that's right, I'm checking you out right now" head nod.  It was all the encouragement he needed so he headed in my direction. 

But by the time he swaggered closer, I had already got an absolute "we are not hanging out with this guy for the rest of the night!"  talk.  For at least another 30 minutes I had to dodge his eye contact.  I probably appeared to suffer from Turrets. 

Left: Gab and I checking out the city
Below: La Bomba posing behind Amy

We went to Montage for dinner.  It was the pinnacle of bizarre.  Dead, petrified snakes and puffer fish greeted us at the door. We had trailer bits (deep fried spam) and hush puppies.  It was the only the second time i have had spam, I hate to admit it, but it was good.  The Mac and Cheese was out of this world good.  I got their half spicy, half old style, they call it Spold, weird name, delicious mac and cheese.  They had really funny drinks like Your Not My Real Dad and Cross-eyed Rosie. 

We then headed for the area called Northwest 23rd.   We had yummy drinks at Matador and Dessert at Papa Hyde.  It looked so pretty, almost too pretty to eat.  I was sad that I could only eat a few bites. 

The following morning we headed to Zells for the best Eggs Benedict and then headed for the Airport.
With all the eating we did, I thought for sure I gained 100 LBS, but luckily I only gained a 4. 

Random favorite moments:

• Ben serenading us with "you make me feel like I am living a teenage dream" while cruising around in a mini van. 
• Ben driving around in a mini van.
• Shaking Gab vigorously in the middle of the night to see who was sleeping next to me.
• Checking our room after we backed up, to make sure nothing of ours was left behind, only to find a Levitation kit under the bed that belonged to Ben's roommate....so weird.
• What I'm calling the Bridge Debacle of 2011- We took the wrong turn and accidentally got on a Bridge that crossed the Columbia River.  It was pretty traumatic considering I had just seen a movie trailer where a bridge collapses while people are driver on it, less than 24 hours before.  I think both Gab and I thought at any minute we were going to crash and go over the sides. It was horrifying and my little wrong turn took us practically to Washington. 

 Our trip to Portland was jammed pack with fun, adventure, laughter, amazing food, and way too much drinking.  It was everything I could hope for in a vacation. "It was absolutely amazing finally getting to meet one of my best friends...met or not met."  The city is just an awesomely weird place that I hope to visit many times in future.