HELP

I have always loved my independent nature.  I take pride in it but every great once in a while it has dawned on me that I might be too independent and prideful.  It even has occurred to me once or twice that due to my Independence, aka my pride, that I am single more than not.  But how do I change such a huge part of who I am? I became independent out of necessity.  I hate asking for help.  I hate showing weakness.  I hate burdening people that are already burdened with their own things.  I hate for people to see me as anything but happy, healthy, successful, fun, and capable.  And while every single moment in my life isn't happy, healthy, successful, and fun, I sure as hell don't like to advertise that. 

Then my life flipped upside down. 

This morning, I didn't want to get out of bed.  Yesterday I told my boss I would be in at 8am, but this morning at 7 am I emailed her and had to say...."apparently 12 hours just wasn't enough time in bed, Ill be a little later."  I made it at 9:15am.  While getting ready; I dropped my brush, my sock, missed the garbage can, left lights on that I had to walk back through my place to turn off.  These things sound so simple, but they weren't.  Each thing I dropped I had to go to wherever I last left my grabber and then go pick up what I dropped.  Every step was exhausting.  

Last night I had to ask a friend for a massage. I almost couldn't send the text because I didn't want to make her feel obligated, even though she told me she would come back again.  Every day there are at least 5 things I need but cant bare to ask for.  Even though I have more people offering to help than I can count.  

And then there are all the things I can and do ask for help.  Every day, 50 times, I ask for help. 

I often wonder about why things happen.  Some things are so hard and painful, its hard to see the positive side. 
But almost every time I let go of my pride and ask for help, I think to myself, this is the lesson. This is what I couldn't do and now must do in order to wear clean cloths, keep the sink empty of dishes, access anything in the world that sits lower than my waist, move anything over 8 lbs, walk up or down stairs, get lotion on my legs, and the worst yet. Get my toe nails cut. 
When I look back at the hardest things in my life, I also see the most growth.  And since I clearly couldn't learn the lesson of humility with simple little obstacles.  I am learning, or rather, its being beaten into me every day. 
My heart feels softer and appreciative every day that I have so much help to get me through this.  I cant even imagine what a person would do in this situation if they didn't have HELP. 

Here is a song "Walk" I can relate to both figuratively and literally from my favorite band, the 2nd song "Pretender" is one of my favorites.