I have been thinking a ton about love lately. Its probably because something has changed for me. Ive met a man that I could actually see loving. Its way too soon to really even be thinking about love. Ive only spent a handful of moments with this person. I dont really even know him. But for the first time in YEARS!! I could see it. Sure Ive dated people in the last two years but I can say with honesty, that I was never tempted to love any of them. I never wanted any of them to stay. And here I am wanting a man to stay. Its frightening and seems an impossible road to take again. And yet the desire is there. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I have no idea what he is thinking or feeling. But I love this change.
I keep thinking of two things:
A quote that I have written on a post-it on my computer at work.
"Safety is over-rated and security is fools gold."
And a line from one of my favorite Foo Fighters songs.
"The only thing I'll ever ask of you, you gotta promise not to stop when I say when."
Every "chicken" part of me wants to hide and play it safe. But there is also a deep desire within to be brave. When I look back at the chances Ive taken and the moments when I was brave and just dove in, no matter the outcome, I am proud.
So Im going to ask myself not to stop, especially when I say when. And win or lose, love or alone, Im not going to play it safe.