Yesterday was an amazing Saturday. I was up at 6:30 am. I made my 3egg white, spinach, and pepper omelet. I packed my after work-out protein shake and my lunch. I was at the gym by 7:30. I made it through 60 minutes of Cycle. The usual Sat morning instructor was volunteering at Ragnar so we had a sub. I loved her technique. She kept us moving through an imaginary bike ride. Big right and left turns to work our sides and I loved the 3 minutes intervals with a constant progression of incline. It was Epic. I conquered 26 miles with out leaving the room.
I had a great time with Janabanana at Ikea and I got exactly what I needed for my killer night stand.(A post to follow soon) I then Finished getting unpacked at the new place.
After my long list of to-do's were marked off, I spent a delicious hour at the pool, soaking up the sun and stretching out my muscles in the water.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I have had a problem with being vulnerable. I only want people to see the best in me. In someways its being good at P.R. Its projecting a positive image. But it has also been exhausting trying to be perfect. This is wear the Bikini comes in. I have the cutest Pink Polka Dot Bikini. I got the top last summer but always covered it with a tank top. I didnt even dare buy the bottoms. Well, for the sake of being brave, a couple weeks back I saw a pink stripped bikini bottom, with the exact shade of pink as my top and without giving in to my fear...went to the check out counter.
So yesterday when my room-mate said "lets go to the pool" I had a mini panic attack. All of my other swim suits were packed away. I stood there in the mirror staring at the cutest swimsuit I have ever owned, wondering if I could do it. The funny thing about this battle is that wearing a tankini really doesn't make me look any thinner, it just adds more fabric. So why was this so hard for me?
Hard or not, I walked out there. Every step was beyond uncomfortable. But I did it anyway and loved the feeling of the my skin soaking up the sun. But most importantly I loved the feeling of being weightless in the water without being weighed down by layers of hiding... I mean fabric.
I am doing the things that scare me and just embracing my body where I am at. It was completely uncomfortable. But It was also empowering.
My Itsy Bitsy Teeny Tiny Pink Polka Dot Bikini make me happy just looking at it and that is what matters when I walk out to the pool.
