The Remnants of My Twenties

With so little of my "Twenties" left,  I cant help but look back and take stock. I have had some big gains, big set backs, and some pretty epic mistakes.  I am not that same girl that thought she had it together and took on her twenties head on.  I am a woman who made it through and now realizes how "not together" I was 10 years ago.  I barely knew myself.  I was weak, insecure, trusting, and a little lost.  But I was also sweet, generous, fun, smart, loving, and adventurous.
 
I dropped out of college, I got a job, got fired, got a new job, went back to school, went into debt, graduated with a bachelors degree, fell in love, was given a diamond, had my heart broken, gave the diamond back, fell out of love, played the field, and played a whole lot.  I gave up religion and became more at peace with God.
I lost friends, gained friends, I lost my Grandpa and Gramgram and never stop missing them. But I gained so much from being there for them when they needed me at the end.  

I found out I am really good at dancing, loving, being independent, party planning, digital scrap-booking, and being diplomatic.
Who knew that I would really like hiking, I didn't see that one coming. I feel my sexiest at the gym, covered in sweat, working to be my best.
I am an excellent cook and baker.  Well maybe not the Food Network Star excellent but Im on my way.
 

I don't love easily or quickly, but when I do love...I love fiercely.

And one of my favorite lessons, that I am beautiful in spite of the ridiculous amount of flaws I posses. 

I remember a few years back, a fight I had with a boyfriend, he was upset with me because of something I had done years earlier. We were downtown and we gave each other the silent treatment the whole train ride home.  I was so mad that he was mad.  So finally I said to him "Im only going to have this conversation once.  If you love me, if you love this person that I am, then you have to love all of me, including the mistakes I made in the past.  They are the reason I am who I am today and why I am the person that you love!" 

I have had to take my own advice on this one and found a way to love myself in spite of my mistakes.  I genuinely like who I am. 

So while at 29 I may not have a big house on the hill with a swimming pool in the backyard.  I haven't yet become a successful entrepreneur. I haven't yet been to Paris, Japan to see the sakura, Hawaii, or New York.  And I dont have the amazing husband or the beautiful babies that I just know Im going to make. But I do have the self assurance the I am right where I am supposed to be and I have tomorrow to gain all the things I want.  I have a feeling that ...